SHEEPSHEAD BAY — When 12-year-old Tony Castellano didn't like how Stranger Things ended, he did what any disappointed viewer with supernatural abilities would do: he used his psychic powers to transport the show's creators directly to his family's kitchen and demanded they write a proper finale.
The Duffer Brothers, Matt and Ross, materialized in the Castellanos' Avenue Z home last Thursday around 7 p.m., appearing bewildered between the refrigerator and the breakfast table where Tony's dad was eating leftover ziti.
"We knew this day would come," said Maria Castellano, Tony's mother, stirring a pot of sauce while the two Hollywood writers sat uncomfortably at her kitchen table. "Ever since the new season dropped, Tony's been obsessing over online theories about a secret episode. When he gets fixated on something, well... things happen."
According to the family, Tony had spent weeks scouring social media for clues about a hidden Stranger Things finale. When it became clear no such episode existed, he took matters into his own hands.
"Many people online said the writers didn't know how to end the series and copped out by leaving it open-ended," Tony explained, glaring at Matt Duffer. "That way they never have to explain anything and can come back if work dries up, claiming it was their plan all along. Netflix gets viewers back, everyone wins except the fans."
The Castellanos admit they've known about their son's abilities for years.
"Having a kid with psychic powers is exhausting," Maria said. "He's always moving things with his mind or reading our thoughts or turning people into plants or objects. We love any opportunity for Tony to focus his attention on someone else."
She paused, watching her son wave his hand and levitate a meatball hitting Ross Duffer in the face.
"Maybe not as exhausting as having Donald Trump for president," she added, "but exhausting nonetheless."
The family's relief was interrupted by Uncle Tommy bursting through the back door, practically vibrating with excitement.
"I have hands again!" he announced, wiggling his fingers. "The kid turned me into a corn stalk in the garden last month. I've been stuck out there through two snowstorms! But now I can hold things! I can touch!"
He headed out the front door, calling out: "I'm going to go make love to my wife!"
This seemed to cause a Duffer to begin crying softly into his espresso.
Meanwhile, Tony continued berating the brothers about plot holes and character arcs while Matt Duffer could be seen frantically typing prompts into ChatGPT on his laptop.
"What happens to Eleven's powers long-term? She better not be dead!!!" Tony demanded. "Can there be water in the upside down? Is Vecna really dead? Vecna really tricked them all right? They're all stuck in the upside down aren't they? The mind flare won didn't it?! Didn't it?!!!"
Frank Castellano, Tony's father, watched the scene unfold with obvious pride.
"Look at him working with those guys," he said to his wife. "Really taking charge. I think Tony would make a great director someday."
Maria agreed, "At least Tony knows how to finish what he starts."
The family reports that the writers have been in their kitchen for five days now, working on what Tony calls "the real finale." They've been fed regular meals and allowed to sleep on the pull-out couch, though Tony has banned them from leaving until the script meets his approval.
Netflix declined to comment, though sources close to the company say they're "monitoring the situation" and "a few new episodes couldn't hurt especially if Tony can help with VFX and scheduling."
When asked if they planned to intervene, the Castellanos seemed unconcerned.
"Tony's learning valuable lessons about creative control and artistic integrity," Frank said. "Plus, the house has never been quieter. Usually he's terrorizing us or making the neighbors' car alarms go off."
The Duffer Brothers remain in the kitchen, where Tony has set up a writing station between the fruit bowl and his Nintendo Switch.
"Now write the part where Argyle comes back, and this time, make it good."
"I can't wait to take another long nap," said Maria as her husband hugged her, "Me too baby," as they kissed.